| Almost like an Ashanti song |
[29 Jun 2008|10:52am] |
So much wasted time. So much time I invested into something that I knew would never work, yet convinced myself that it would.
Why?
Why, when I knew that you never would feel the same way about me as I feel about you? I guess because deep down inside I always figured something in you would see would see something in me that would make you reciprocate those feelings.
What is it about summer? The heat makes everyone crazy. Maybe it's the humidity too. Does something to the brain circuts that make people do things that wouldn't normally do. But why?
My life is one big question of WHY? Kinda like Jadakiss, without all the political/social questions. More like an Ashanti song.
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| It's been a while. |
[19 Jun 2008|03:45pm] |
I should be doing my presentation for spanish class right now but I can't. My mind is numb and everything hurts.
It's not supposed to hurt this much.
I only wrote this so 3 years later when I look back, I can laugh at myself for being so silly. But for now, I can't stop crying.
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| Let's hug it out. |
[09 Jun 2008|08:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cold |
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I've been reading many of my past journal entries and all I can do is LOL at myself because I was so emotional and young and just probably upset because I thought Mitchell was it or maybe Alex. WTF WAS I THINKING?
LOL.
It's crazy to read all these posts from when I was 18 and such a baby. Too bad that's totally 5 years ago. It's kinda weird to think about. 5 years is a long time but it doesn't seem like it. Reading some of those posts brought back very vivid memories that seriously made me cringe. I'm glad I'm over most of it.
GO ME
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| so here's the thing |
[15 Jul 2006|12:41pm] |
i'm really glad that i'm not 18 anymore.
honestly.
i'm glad i'm mature enough to let things go now. i've learned it's easier to let insults roll off the small of your back and better to understand that people who talk shit about you are just insecure with themsevles.
i thought we were all over the immature phase of our lives but then i realized you're still 18.
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| insanity. |
[24 Apr 2006|05:31pm] |
i've come to realize that i really do dislike just about everyone i cross paths with, including you.
especially you.
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| the end of the end, or maybe the end of the beginning. |
[11 Jun 2005|10:40am] |
i'm glad you won't be able to read this.
i really am.
i'm glad you're leaving soon because when you do, i can be me again.
i'm tired of you.
i'm tired of not getting what i want.
i'm tired of being some sort of side game for you. something you use at your disposal.
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| over. |
[21 May 2005|08:15pm] |
i'm glad it's over.
now i can be real fucking apathetic.
it feels good to be me.
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| gone |
[10 May 2005|06:18pm] |
wanting to leave before my birthday
why are you so inconsiderate?
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[27 Mar 2005|07:53am] |
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being in love and loving someone are two different things.
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| current obsession: straight teeth. |
[22 Mar 2005|11:53am] |
in an entry about a year ago, i posted a survey and this is how geo responded to these following questions:
22. What do you think my weakness is? LOVE
23. Do you think I'll get married? YOU ARE
24. What makes me happy? LOVE
25. What makes me sad? LOVE
27. If you could give me anything what would it be? LOVE
oh geez. you know me all too well!
i'm not in love now, thank god for that or else i'd have a million livejournal posts that would go a little like:
WHY DOESN'T HE LOVE ME?! I HATE MYSELF. THIS SONG MAKES ME SAD. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH IT HURTS.
meh, whatever.
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| cause if the world is spinning... |
[20 Mar 2005|01:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 OMG |
] |
march 20th...only four months till my 20th birthday. i want to be 21 damn it! not that i'll be 21 with braces but whatever ):
there was a point to this entry, there really was but i somehow forgot when i realized that today was the 20th. i'm going to see the mavericks play tomorrow. not to mention i have an interview at fry's electronics. i heard the employees get a nice discount. meh, whatever. i'd give anything to get away from tom thumb. i h8 them.
FU CF
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| wasting my time. |
[08 Mar 2005|09:26am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 tired!!! |
] |
i always feel as if i should update with something remotely useful or interesting, but seriously, who wants to know what goes on in my days?
am i really that interesting that i have to write down what happens in my life? not really.
but i don't know.
CHICAGO
that's it.
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[07 Mar 2005|01:36pm] |
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i want my hair to grow out.
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[03 Mar 2005|09:27am] |
i can't believe i still have this thing.
i'll update later.
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[07 Feb 2005|11:55am] |
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there are moments that occur throughout my life that seem to move me but oddly, i'm still here.
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[05 Feb 2005|03:04pm] |
i think i've posted this song before, but everytime i listen to it, it still has the same effect it had on me when i first heard it...
lately i've been wishing i had one desire. something that would make me never want another. something that would make it so that nothing mattered. all would be clear then. but i guess i'll have to settle for a few brief moments and watch it all dissolve into a single second. try to write it down into a perfect sonnet or one foolish line. because that's all that you'll get so you'll have to accept you are here then you're gone. but i believe that lovers should be tied together and thrown into the ocean in the worst of weather and left there to drown, left there to drown in their innocence. but as for me, i'm coming to the final chapter. i read all the pages and there is still no answer. only all that was before i know must soon come after. that is the only way it can be. so i stand in the sun and i breathe with my lungs trying to spare myself the weight of the truth. saying everything you've ever seen was just a mirror. you've spent your life sweating in an endless fever, laying in a bathtub full of freezing water wishing you were a ghost. but once you knew a girl and you named her lover. danced with her in the greenest summer but autumn came, she disappeared. you don't remember where she said she was going to but you know that she's gone because she left you a song that you don't want to sing. we're singing i believe that lovers should be chained together, thrown into a fire with their songs and letters. left there to burn, left there to burn in their arrogance. but as for me, i'm coming to my final failure. i've killed myself with changes trying to make it better. but i still ended up becoming something other than what i had planned to be. ALL RIGHT. i believe that lovers should be draped in flowers. layed entwined together on a bed of clovers, left there to sleep, left there to dream of their happiness.
word.
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[03 Feb 2005|10:33am] |
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sometimes life gets the best of you.
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